The beginning of the adventure . . . 

As soon as I saw her, I knew. My daughter. I can't explain to you how that happens, but I just knew. It was late August, and my agency had emailed a newsletter with pictures of children on the front page.  There were about six children on the page, all adorable, all amazing, but as soon as I saw her, I knew. But then, if I am really an honest storyteller, I should tell you that  I said to myself, "NO, OH NO, you cannot even think about it. You're not ready. Ellie is still young. You don't have the money yet. Just STOP---stop looking at her. And you know nothing about her. You don't even know if she is available for adoption---she could be a child who is already home!" And I deleted the email.  And tried to put that little face out of my mind. I assumed she had been adopted. 

Two months later, I was speaking with Charlotte, the social worker from my agency, in preparation for sending Ellie's two-year report to China (it's something we agree to as adoptive parents so that China knows that children adopted here are doing well.) I shared that I probably would go back for a second daughter, but not now--- maybe a couple of years from now, and she made a face. You know---that face that says, "REALLY, why not now?" And she said, "Well, OK, but why don't you at least speak with our China coordinator, because we have this really great orphanage partnership now, and I happen to know that there is a little girl there with albinism. You should at least speak with her so she knows you're interested in going back eventually." Yeah, eventually. :-)

A few days later, I found myself waiting for an email with the file of a little eight-year-old girl, after hearing from the China coordinator (who had spent some time with her in China) how amazing, smart, and spunky she was. And of course, my heart and head were arguing with each other.  Some of you know the story of the ups and downs with Ellie's adoption process. At the end, when I was ready to give up, I truly just prayed that God would give me a clear sign about the child that was meant to be mine. And so again, as I waited for this file, I prayed for a clear sign. 

Annie has a Chinese name, but as some of you know, when agencies begin to advocate for children in order to find families for them, the agencies assign them an English name, both for privacy purposes and just for ease of talking about them to prospective parents.  And speaking of names, my plan for when I went back (you know, "eventually" :-) for a second child was to name her Annie. My Mom's middle name was Ann, and it means "God's grace."  Elizabeth (Ellie's full name) means "God's promise," so I figured they would be a great pair:  God's promise and God's grace! :-) 

Anyway, as I opened the file of that little girl with albinism, AMAZINGLY I saw the face of the little girl I had seen two months earlier, and my heart began to race. And THEN, I scrolled down to see that the English name the agency had assigned for advocacy was . . .  you guessed it . . . Annie.

And so, the adventure began!